As you uncover the mirror each morning, widen your tiny eyes, smile your best misshapen smile, and exclaim, “Francine loves me, this I know, for her column tells me so!” Then put the black cloth back over the mirror. You’re ugly, you little perverts. […]
I like to think of “bathtub gin” as “Martinis by the pool,” but that’s not where the expression originated. It came about during Prohibition when people would “make” their own gin by adding mail-order juniper flavoring to low-quality alcohol to help mask its awfulness. The weird thing is, gin cocktails were awfully popular back then. […]
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